Brian was a very recently returned missionary from Sendai, Japan, only being home for 4 months. Most RM’s are very “marriage conscience” when they first come home, however this was far from Brian’s mind. He was extremely focused on his degree in Advertising at BYU and spent the majority of his time working on projects. Needless to say, a relationship was not in his game plan.
As for me, I had just ended a relationship a few months prior and was at a point in my life where I wanted nothing to do with boys or relationships (I know, very naive of me I suppose). I was more focused on becoming more social and spending much needed time with my roommates. I was also trying hard to get myself back into school and preparing myself financially for that. I spent countless hours working at In N Out and pretty much dedicated all of my time to making some dollar signs.
In late September, I was packing to leave for California the next day when I decided to go out with my roommates to the rooftop concert in Provo, Ut. I had so much fun! Although, our night ended early because everyone (besides me) had a hot date or other evening plans. So I came home and decided to watch one of my favorite shows, Grey’s Anatomy. I was home alone until Alanna (my roommate) came running through the door asking me to go swimming with her and some friends. Being the lame person I was, I politely declined. Not minutes after that, Nick (whom at this point I had never met, but is Brian’s roommate) came waltzing in the door, followed by Brian. Now, I am sure you are wondering what my first initial thought was when I saw Brian. I thought, “Who are these people and why are the interrupting my show!” Haha, seriously actually. Of course I thought that he was cute and stuff, but I had sworn off relationships so I wasn’t really thinking of anything like that. Nick and Alanna left the apartment to go swimming. My assumption was that Brian was going to leave as well, however he did not. He came and sat next to me on the couch. If you are thinking that this is typical of Brian, well, you would be wrong. To this day I have no idea why he stuck around to talk to me. It was slightly awkward at first, but the more we talked, the more we just clicked.
We talked about school and work and different things. I don’t think he really brought up the fact that he had JUST got off his mission yet, but to be honest, it wouldn’t have mattered. He asked me how to spell my last name, which then led him to finding my facebook. Sneaky sneaky! Anywho, I was leaving the next morning to fly to California. I wanted him to get my number that night but he never did. So I thought that was the end of that. While in California, I received a facebook message from him reading,
“Hey Kristin Llllelwxlellyn. (He always made fun of my last name having too many letters in it.)
So I had a thought just now. Correct me if I'm mistaken, but I believe you mentioned that you have some clippers (for cutting hair, not the basketball kind) at your house in California.
Just an idea, but if you wanted to be awesome, you could bring those clippers back with you from California, and then use them to cut my hair for me. Just saying...
Hope you had fun at the wedding!”
Well as you can imagine, I was super happy to receive this message. We started to massage back and forth to each other until I finally broke down and told a little white lie ;) I told him that I never use facebook and that it would be way easier if he just texted me. (Yes, I gave him my number FIRST. He never asked me for it.)
Well, when I came back from California we started spending every day together until he finally asked if I wanted to “hangout” with him sometime. I got back from California on a Tuesday and we went on our first date on Friday to a place called “Color Me Mine” where we painted pottery. What a fun date that was! Although, Brian was very sick with the sniffles and a head cold and he constantly needed to blow his nose. I offered to wait until he was feeling better, but he insisted he wanted to go on this date.
So the rest is pretty much history. Not too long after that we became “official” and spent all of our time together. To be honest, I was afraid that he would get sick of me, or that spending a lot of time together would lead to arguments. 8 months later though, we are still argument free!
Well, as the holiday season approached our relationship continued to get stronger. However, I was secretly terrified because I knew that Brian was going to Canada for a couple weeks for winter break. How was I supposed to spend 2 weeks without him?! Well, it wasn’t easy, but I did it. I can tell you that it was the longest two weeks of my life. I missed him like crazy!
Brian’s birthday is on January 17 and was quickly approaching after the break. Me, lacking in funds, made him dinner and had a little surprise party for him. However, his mom got him the ultimate gift: a car! He was SO happy and grateful for that car. He called me right away and was so excited to take me on a drive. Well, the next day he was on his way to come visit me at In-N-Out and as he was turning into the parking lot he was rear ended. Now this was not just some simple fender bender. Brian was hit so hard that he slammed his face into his steering wheel which left him with 60 stitches in his forehead and a broken nose. Not to mention, the scare of a lifetime. Now you may be wondering where I was during all of this. I was at work...watching the entire thing unravel.
It was a normal day at work for me. I was excited for that night because I would get to see his car and we had a fun ward activity that we were going to go to. As I was peeling onions, I noticed that there was a fairly bad car accident that had just happened right outside the window. I didn’t think much about it and my coworkers and I joked about silly Utah drivers. We also watched the ambulance come and pull someone out of a small, white, smashed up car. We all watched and thought “Man, that guy looks bad.” Luckily, I was able to get off a little early and, as usual, went directly to my phone to call Brian. However, I was stopped by a text that read “I was in a car accident outside your work. I am ok.”
OH MY GOSH. My mind started to race and I seriously couldn’t believe it. I was in total shock and thought that there was no way someone would be ok after what I had seen. I ran up and told my friend Kelsey that it was Brian. She told me I had to go out there and talk to the cops. I was so scared and in tears (don’t tell Brian) that I literally couldn’t move. So Kelsey ran out to the street and I followed. The police officer saw us and asked if there was a Kristin that works there. I said that was me. He told me that my boyfriend was in a bad car accident and I should go to the Utah Valley ER right away. I didn’t even hesitate. I jumped in my car and rushed to the hospital. When I saw Brian, he was covered in blood almost from head to toe. I didn’t even know what to think. I went straight to him and grabbed his bloody hand (literally). All he said to me over and over again was “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.” To be honest, I didn’t know what to think or say or do. All I wanted to do was trade places with him. I knew, however, that I needed to be strong and to be calm for him. So I did my best.
As you can imagine, it became a long few weeks for Brian. He was almost in constant pain and was taking a lot of really helpful painkillers. I never left his side. I did whatever I could to ease his pain. And when I had to leave his side for work or school, I made sure he had someone nearby to help him in case of a sudden nose bleed that he often had. His family that was nearby also helped him alot and I can not take much credit for Brian’s care. His mom, especially, was extremely helpful and caring during these much needed times of healing. To her and the rest of his family, I am forever grateful.
It was during this time when I realized I was in love with Brian. I had never cared about one person so deeply before. I have never wanted to switch places or take someones pain away like I wanted to with Brian. For me, this experience led me to really understand what love was.
For Brian, the accident was also a big game changer. At the time I had no idea, but later Brian told me that after he had come back from Christmas break, he had actually had serious doubts about the relationship. Not that he didn't care for me deeply, but he was scared about how fast the relationship was moving. He didn't want to be another RM who is marriage crazy, and how close we had become in such a short period of time really worried him. In his own words, he said that the fear he felt was always overcome when we were together, but sometimes when we were apart, he got scared.
Well, according to Brian, the very day that he seriously began thinking that we were moving too fast and that we should take a break, he got in the accident. Brian has told me more than once that the accident, while horrible and painful, was in part an angel in disguise, because he realized, as I stood by his side through the worst of times, that he too was in love with me.
I should also mention that during the 8 months of dating that we have done thus far, we have never said “I love you” to each other. Early on in our relationship Brian told me he has never said those words to any girl and he will only ever say them to his future wife. What a relief! Talk about taking any unneeded pressure off the relationship. I was so glad that there was no pressure on me to say those words back and we could just date and have fun.
Of course, as our relationship progressed, Brian and I wanted to say them to each other so badly, but we held it in.
And thus leads to the wonderful story of how he proposed...
I can remember it like it was yesterday. Probably because it was yesterday, but I’m sure I will be saying that for years. Brian has been telling me for a couple weeks to keep Friday night, the 29th of March, free because his dad was coming in from Canada. I agreed and made sure I had the night off of work. Well, his dad wasn’t able to come that weekend but Brian told me we would go on a nice date anyways. He wanted to cook for me and he wanted it to be really nice. I was confused and always asked him why, but he would only ever respond with “because you deserve it.” That was good enough for me I guess. Brian has always been so great at surprising me and treating me like a princess so in my mind I thought it was just another nice thing he wanted to do for me.
When I got off of work on Friday, I was so excited to come home and see Brian. After I was done getting ready I called Brian and he said he would wait for me outside. This was weird because he never met me outside. Before we went into his apartment he told me he had a little surprise for me. He opened the door and there were a TON of sunflowers everywhere. Like a TON! Sidenote: sunflowers are my favorite. I was so shocked. In the middle of all these sunflowers there was a table set up with a candle and dinner ready to eat. So we sat down, said a prayer, and ate our meal...like any normal couple right? Except for the fact that we were surrounded by sunflowers. Dinner was great! We talked about our day and his work and my work. But, I still had all these sunflowers on my mind. I proceeded to ask him how many there were and he made me guess. My guesses were so dumb. My first guess was 4 dozen. Wrong. Second I said 10 dozen. Wrong again. Brian finally told me he had purchased (and cut) 300 sunflowers. 300! Holy moly! I have never even heard of this many sunflowers! Well it was definitely a treat for me. After dinner, we cleared the table and he said that he had another surprise for me. At this point I was a little more suspicious. He went to his room, grabbed his guitar and told me he wanted to sing me a song that he had written. Well, a song that he had changed the lyrics to. The song was amazing. Here are the lyrics:
(Also, I should note that all of the lyrics are references to different dates we've been on or things Brian loves about me, etc...)
(to the tune of Juno’s “anyone else”)
"You’re a part time lover and a full time friend,
The monkey on your back is the latest trend.
I don’t see what anyone can see in anybody else, but you.
Here is the church and here is the steeple,
We sure are cute for two ugly people.
I don’t see what anyone could see in anybody else, but you.
You know how to paint airplanes and cups,
I blab about my mission and you don’t interrupt.
I don’t see what anyone could see in anybody else, but you.
You are really good at the nickel arcade,
You really like green but mint’s your favorite shade.
I don’t see what anyone could see in anybody else, but you.
You’ll play all the games, even sometimes Rook,
You’re such a good writer you should write a book.
I don’t see what anyone could see in anybody else, but you.
You can jump around on a trampoline,
Being with you is like living a dream.
I don’t see what anyone could see in anybody else, but you.
When we go on trips to a warmer place,
Disneyland or boating trips are all the rage.
I don’t see what anyone could see in anybody else, but you.
Sometimes we stay home and just watch a movie,
Although going mini golfing was pretty groovy.
I don’t see what anyone could see in anybody else, but you.
Although you might kill for a piece of chocolate,
As far as I’m concerned you’re the number one best cook.
I don’t see what anyone could see in anybody else, but you.
You love all things that have to do with Star Wars,
Or at least you will pretend that it does not bore.
I don’t see what anyone could see in anybody else, but you.
Even when I crash and am sort of broken,
You stayed right by my side and I’m not jokin’.
I don’t see what anyone could see in anybody else, but you.
You were made for me and I was made for you,
It’s not hard to see that one plus one is two.
I don’t see what anyone could see in anybody else, but you."
AMAZING huh? Well, I’m sure you think I was in tears at this point. I can honestly say the song made my eyes swell but unfortunately, no tears. I think my eyes are broken? Anywho, after he finished the song, he came closer to me and told me that I wasn’t allowed to speak until he was done with what he had to say. At this point, I had a feeling what was coming.
This is what I remember:
“Kristin, I’m sure you can tell that the point of that song was to tell you that I love you.”
Ok, he said the words. It is definitely happening. HOLY CRAP.
He then proceeded to tell me about the reason sunflowers are called sunflowers. He said that wherever the sun is, that is the direction the flower faces. He told me of a talk that we both heard a few weeks ago about how relationships are like flowers. How you need to water them to make them grow and work on them everyday. He told me that he knows we have what it takes to make it work and that it will take hard work but he knows we can do it. He said he is like a sunflower and I am like the sun and that he wants to always be facing in my direction and that wherever I am, he wants to be.
Teary eyed yet? I wasn’t. I was in complete shock. Then, he got on one knee and pulled out a box and asked me to marry him. With my hands cupped around my mouth, I said nothing for a second. Of course I said yes. Me, being the silly girl I am, gave him both my hands because I had no clue what hand the ring goes on.
SHOCKED. That was the best date of my life thus far.
Now I asked Brian to write down his version of the speech that he gave. Here's what he said:
"After the song, the first thing I said was that you had to listen and you couldn't say anything or interrupt me until I was done talking. After you promised to comply, I proceeded to tell you that the point of the song was to tell you that I love you. Which I had never said to any girl ever before. It was really hard to say, and I'm pretty sure when I said it my voice was so quiet and choked up you could hardly hear me. Either way, I somehow said it (it's much easier to say now, by the way). At any rate, after that, I was still nervous beyond all nervous, but I proceeded to tell you about Sunflowers. I had done a little bit of research on sunflowers and learned that sunflowers have this interesting quirk where they follow the direction of the sun. Sunflowers know that their life depends on the sun, and they long to be as close as possible to it. I told you that you were the sun in my life and that my life, my happiness and my everything depends on you. I told you that no matter where you go, I wanted to be as close as possible to you. I said I wanted to follow you everywhere. In order to show this to you, I bought the 300 flowers. Then I reminded you of the talk we had heard together that compared a relationship to a flower. The talk mentioned how a relationship, like a flower, will not grow without serious effort, and how for a relationship to be eternal it requires all the pieces to fit in their proper place. Then I told you that I knew we had what it takes to make our relationship last, and that now was our time with every piece fitting perfectly. Then, stumbling all over my words, I asked you to marry me. You replied, "yes of course!" to which I breathed a huge sigh of relief and quickly added "ok, it's too late to take it back now!" And that's the story of how you got stuck with me."
He claims to have said all that to me, but I don't really remember it. I say he was so nervous that he forgot to say most of that, to which he replies that first, he rehearsed the speech hundreds of times before the proposal and is sure that he got it right, and second, he thinks I was too caught up in the moment, and the words "I love you," to comprehend everything he said.
It probably doesn't matter who is right.
I am so happy to spend forever with Brian. He is my best friend, my support, my encouragement, my everything. I love him to death and I can’t wait to start my life with him. I have never met someone who has been so accepting of everything in my life and so willing to give always. He is so incredibly creative and I know that our life together will never be boring. I know that Heavenly Father brought us together and I know that, together, we can serve Him and create an eternal family. I am so excited for the future!
Most importantly, I GET TO BE A SHAW!
I couldn’t be happier. Thank you to all our family and friends who have always supported our decisions and given us advice. To all of you: we love you.
Here’s to the future....
